Private Mother-Daughter CoachingFor the relationship that matters most.
Private coaching for mothers and adult daughters who love each other deeply and still can't seem to get through a conversation. Three months, once a week, with a Mother-Daughter Relationship Specialist beside you.
- 17 yearsLicensed Professional Counselor
- On HuluCoached a mother and daughter on a top-rated reality series
- First of its kindCourse on the mother-daughter relationship, Psychotherapy Networker Symposium
- As seen inBusiness Insider, Vox and Everymom
You've built a life that works. Except this.
You're the one everyone relies on. You built the career or the company, you hold the family together, and you invest in your health and your growth without apology. And the place it hurts most is at home.
You know how to lead and get things done. But the relationship with your daughter, or your mother, doesn't respond to effort. You may have already tried therapy, books and the big conversation. You don't need more insight. You need someone who can sit with both of you and help you finally hear each other.
So often, what's still between you began years ago. Something from the teenage years that was never talked about, never understood and never repaired. She's a grown woman now, maybe a mother herself, and the moment you're together it can feel like you're both right back there again.
- There's so much love between you, and the conflict keeps getting in the way.
- Around each other, you both slip back into who you were when she was fifteen.
- Something happened in the teenage years that you've never really talked about.
- You're planning a wedding together, and you can't get through a single conversation.
- Something happened at the wedding, or over the holidays, and it hasn't been the same since.
- She has pulled away, or gone quiet, and you don't know how to reach her without pushing her further.
- A new grandchild, a loss or a family change brought everything to the surface.
Hilary Mae is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Mother-Daughter Relationship Specialist with 17 years of experience, and the founder of The Mother-Daughter Company. She works privately with mothers and adult daughters to repair conflict, distance and estrangement, together or one-on-one.
Private coaching is a three-month commitment, invested in as a package rather than by the session. Sessions are held online for clients anywhere in the world, or in person by arrangement.
Underneath the conflict, there is almost always love.
Choose the one that sounds most like you.
The wedding she wanted to plan herself
She was her mother's only daughter, engaged in her late twenties, and she wanted to dream up her wedding with her fiancé. The venue, the florist, the meetings. Her mother was a fixer. Solving problems was how she had always loved her daughter, and before anyone noticed, half the wedding was already in motion.
Her daughter told her she wasn't part of the planning at all. Her mother said maybe she wouldn't even come.
Underneath all of that pain was so much love. They both wanted this wedding to be something they shared. They just couldn't get through a single conversation without someone feeling unheard.
"Things have been great with my mom. I've been looking for a new job and I've been able to lean on her a lot. I feel really grateful that I have a mom who can be a shoulder. I don't feel anymore like I'm too old to need my mom. I'm so grateful."A daughter, Private Mother-Daughter Coaching
After the wedding
By the time they found me, the wedding was over. The day itself had been full of stress, disconnection and disappointment, and every attempt to talk about it made things worse. Then came months of silence.
The wedding wasn't really the problem. It was the moment years of unrepaired conflict finally came to the surface. Old hurts had been patched up and everyone had moved on, but no one had ever understood what was really happening between them.
They loved each other fiercely. Together, we pulled apart what each of them had felt and needed, until they could finally hear each other again.
The best Christmas ever
This mother and daughter lived on opposite sides of the country. They could be together, but it was rarely easy. Her daughter carried an anger she couldn't quite explain, and her mother didn't know how to stay in the conversation when it surfaced. So they kept circling the same tension, knowing it could be so much better.
Just before our final session, they spent the holidays together. The house was calm. They had coffee, did puzzles and watched movies. Her mother said she felt like she had found a new friend in her daughter.
And one of the sisters said it was the best Christmas they had ever had, because everyone actually talked and listened to each other.
When a mother and daughter change how they relate, the whole family feels it.
"I tell everyone that I did my research and I found the very best. Reaching out to you was one of the top five best decisions I've made. It has been very impactful to me as a mother, a woman and a wife."A mother, Private Mother-Daughter Coaching
The same restaurant
Ten years ago, her daughter pulled away. It started with her mother, then spread through the whole family, and the distance quietly became normal. Then her daughter eloped, and her mother found out afterward.
That was the moment she decided she was the one who would change this.
By our third session, she and her husband invited their daughter and son-in-law to dinner. She chose the same restaurant where, years earlier, a painful blow-up had sealed the distance between them. This time she went in to do it differently. Both parents apologized, sincerely and without defending themselves. For the first time in years, their daughter was sitting across the table from them, and the conversation went somewhere new.
She didn't wait for her daughter to come back. She led the way.
"When I send you a text now, it feels different."A mother, Private Mother-Daughter Coaching
"We are ready, because I have the tools now and I know what my mom needs from me."Her daughter, after their final session
My work is translation. I help mothers and daughters understand what the other is really saying, see the pattern that keeps repeating between them, and build a way of talking that lets them keep doing this on their own.
Every story here is shared with care. Names and identifying details have been changed, and some stories combine experiences, so that no client could be recognized.
Hear it in their words.
Real repair doesn't begin with the right words. It begins with who you are.
Most mothers and daughters have tried the big conversation. It rarely works, because the patterns underneath it are older than either of you. Private coaching slows everything down, so you can finally understand each other and change what keeps happening between you.
The relationship is my client
I'm not on her side or yours. I hold the relationship between you, so both of you can feel safe enough to be honest.
I translate between you
What she says and what you hear are often two different things. I help each of you understand what the other is really saying, and what she has needed all along.
We work as a team
We meet together and individually, so each of you has space to say what you haven't been able to say, and then bring it back to the two of you.
You leave with tools, not advice
You learn a new way of talking and listening that's yours to keep, so you don't need me in the room to hold it together.
You've invested in your health, your home and your work. This is the relationship you'll have for the rest of your life.
Months, not years
Focused work on one relationship moves further in three months than a year or more of weekly therapy that was never designed for the two of you.
Simple to show up for
Once a week, you come ready to be honest and do the work. The structure, the pacing and the plan are held for you.
Yours for life
You leave with a way of talking and listening that's yours to keep, through the weddings, the grandchildren, the losses and the ordinary Tuesdays.
"I did my research and I found the very best. Reaching out to you was one of the top five best decisions I've made."
A mother, Private Mother-Daughter CoachingTwo ways to begin.
Private Mother-Daughter Coaching
Three months, together and individually, with Hilary.
- Eight sessions together
- Four individual sessions each
- A personal email check-in each week
- The Becoming curriculum for both of you
Private Individual Coaching
For the woman ready to lead change from her side, whether or not her daughter or mother is ready to come into the room.
- Twelve private sessions with Hilary
- A personal email check-in each week
- The Becoming curriculum and coaching calls
Invested as a package, in full or in monthly payments. Your first payment reserves your start date.
Working with more of your family? When the distance reaches siblings, partners or three generations, Hilary designs private family work around your family. Apply and choose family work, and we'll talk about what your family needs.
Private coaching with Olivia
Olivia holds a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and is a therapist and coach for mothers and daughters, trained personally by Hilary in her method. You'll see this option, and its investment, when you apply.
Private means private.
What you share stays between us. I never name clients, and the stories I tell are changed so that no one could recognize a mother, a daughter or a family. Many of the women I work with are well known in their work and their communities. They come to me because they need a place to be completely honest about the relationship that matters most, without worrying who might hear.
Held in confidence
Your work, your history and your family's story are held in confidence, always. There is no group and no audience.
Wherever you are
Sessions are held privately online, so you can work with Hilary from anywhere in the world. If you'd like to meet in person, that can be arranged.
Personally led
When you choose private coaching with Hilary, you work directly with her from your first conversation to your last session.
Hilary Mae
Mother-Daughter Relationship Specialist and founder of The Mother-Daughter Company
A Licensed Professional Counselor for 17 years, Hilary now works as a coach, focused entirely on the relationship between mothers and adult daughters. She has spent her career sitting with mothers and daughters in the moments when love isn't enough to close the distance between them.
- Coached a mother and daughter on a top-rated Hulu reality series
- Presented the first course on the mother-daughter relationship at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium
- Featured in Business Insider, Vox and Everymom
- Writing a book on the mother-daughter relationship
- More than 12,000 women have joined her programs, resources and coaching
She takes on a small number of private clients each year, by application.
Before you apply
How do I heal my relationship with my adult daughter?
Most mothers and daughters who are struggling love each other deeply. What's missing is the ability to really hear each other. Private coaching with Hilary Mae helps you understand what's happening underneath the conflict, see the pattern that keeps repeating between you, and rewrite it, with a new way of talking and listening you can keep for life, together or from your side.
What is private mother-daughter coaching?
Private mother-daughter coaching is coaching with Hilary Mae for a mother and her adult daughter. Over three months, you meet together and individually to understand what has been happening between you, where it began, and how to relate to each other differently.
How is this different from family therapy?
This is coaching, not therapy. Hilary is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 17 years of experience and brings that training into every session, but the work is focused, time-bound and specific to one relationship. The relationship itself is her client. She teaches, translates between mother and daughter, and works with you as a team, bringing you together rather than taking sides. Instead of advice, you leave with tools to keep the relationship strong for life. Many clients find it moves them further in three months than years of weekly therapy.
What if my daughter won't come?
You can begin on your own. Private Individual Coaching is designed for the woman who wants to lead change from her side. Many daughters begin to respond differently as their mother changes, and work together can follow when she's ready.
We had a blow-up at the wedding, or over the holidays. Where do we start?
Start with an application. A painful moment like this is rarely about the day itself. It's usually where years of unrepaired conflict finally surface. Private coaching helps you understand what happened for each of you and repair it, so it doesn't keep repeating.
How long does private coaching take?
Private coaching is a three-month commitment, with one session a week. Mother-daughter coaching includes eight sessions together and four individual sessions for each of you. For most families, three months is all it takes, when you come ready to participate, practice what you're learning and let Hilary guide the process. Every family is different, and she will always be honest with you about what she sees.
Is private coaching confidential?
Yes. Everything you share is held in confidence. Hilary never names clients, and any stories she shares publicly are changed so that no one could be identified. Many of her clients are well known in their professions and communities, and privacy is built into every part of the work.
Do you work with clients outside the United States?
Yes. Sessions are held privately online, so you can work with Hilary from anywhere in the world. If you'd like to meet in person, that can be arranged.
Can you work with our whole family?
Yes. When the conflict reaches siblings, partners or more than one generation, Hilary designs private family work around your family. Choose family work on the application, and you'll talk together about what your family needs and how the work would look.
How much does private coaching with Hilary Mae cost?
Private Mother-Daughter Coaching with Hilary is $25,000 for three months. Private Individual Coaching with Hilary is $15,000 for three months. Both are invested as a package, in full or in monthly payments. Private coaching with Olivia, a therapist trained by Hilary, is available at a different level of investment.
How do I begin?
Complete the short application. Hilary reads every one personally and will be in touch to arrange a private conversation.
The relationship you want is still possible.
Private coaching begins with a short application. I read every one myself.
Apply
Tell me a little about you, your relationship and what you're hoping for.
A private conversation
If it feels like a fit, we'll talk personally about where you are and how we'll work together.
We begin
You reserve your start date, and everything you need for your first session arrives in your inbox.
Questions first? Write to hilary@motherdaughterco.com